*a 4 minute read*
I promise you, there’s no spelling error in the title of this article (although there might be a couple embedded in this article, but we move). Believe it or not, it’s human nature to care about what others think of you. Especially at a younger age, it’s easy to allow others’ opinions of you to impact every single decision you make.
But as you grow older, you start to see you don’t need to care about what everyone thinks of you. The assessment of your character is much more defined and you start to understand who you really are and whose validation you care about.
Now every opinion someone has for you doesn’t hold the same weight as it did before. And this happens because of a simple realization that you have and then applied into your life — you developed a much-needed filtration system to know what’s good for you and what isn’t.
Let It Seep Through
Take the example of the Internet. You post something you enjoy doing and from there, you get a reaction from the people. Whether it’s a YouTube review of how almond milk is the best milk ever created, a video of you doing an R&B mix on a DJ set or a simple picture on your Instagram with a classic Drake lyric as the caption, someone is going to say something… and it might be something you don’t like.
The comment section across all media platforms might be the most hostile place ever created. From the trolls, to the ignorant comments, and the unsolicited hate messages, there is plenty to filter out to get a genuine reaction on whatever it is you have posted.
We know how the basic filter works. A filter is used to catch any impurities or pollutants that may be harmful to us. But what is acceptable and deemed non-deadly to us, is allowed to pass through without complication.
Now you apply the same filtration system to the Internet and you can see how it works accordingly. We use this filter to allow constructive criticism and positivity through but filter out the bullshit, hate, and negativity.
It’s easy to bypass all the great comments like “keep it up”, “keep doing what you are doing,” and “I completely agree that Almond milk is amazing.”
But the one bad comment of “this sucks”, “you suck,” or “there’s no point in pursuing this,” sticks with us despite all the encouraging comments. And it’s because you care. You care about what people think about you no matter if they are a complete stranger or a close friend. But trust me, this is natural to feel.
Recognize Who’s Talking
There’s no shame in caring about what people think of you. You don’t want people to tell you your stuff sucks or is awful (not the best feeling in the world is it?) but remember where these comments are coming from. Is it coming from a close friend you’ve known for 15 years? Or is it coming from someone with a default profile picture for their Twitter who has 1 follower and their bio says “Move in silence”? (think about it).
What we need to do is to care less about the opinions which hold little to no value. Take their comment on the chest and bounce it off of you. In this case, you can acknowledge it and move on straight away, because it didn’t come from a place where they want to help you improve for the better — it came from an environment where jealousy, hatred, and inconsiderate behaviour thrive.
We have to keep it real when we are assessing our character. It’s all about finding ways to constantly improve yourself by taking constructive criticism, harsh truths, serious talks — whatever you want to call it, from the right type of people. You have to take those observations on the chin and grow from them. But first, evaluate who is speaking and then accept the words they are saying accordingly.
Opinions Do Matter
The whole “who cares what they think” mantra is invalid in a way. Again, let’s think about it. You may not care about what a police officer thinks about you per se, but the jurisdiction and authority they have matters to you enough to where you have to care about what they think.
You can care less, much less about what people think to where it feels like you don’t care at all which is completely fine and this is how most of us feel towards a lot of people. But saying you don’t care at all about what some people think is cap (standard abbreviation for not true, and that’s on periodddt).
On to The Next
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this article, feel free to share with a friend to see their perspective of what I have said and if they agree or disagree. Also, answer the question below!
What do you classify as constructive criticism?